I received my moon on the first day of the year, right before holding space in women’s circle (she always seems to come when I am preparing to hold space - as if the ethers are asking to be present deeply within the container) I was gifted by Source and Self space this morning to reflect on my growth, blessing, and gratitude in this past year. Through tarot, I am reminded also of the FEAR, DESOLATION, LONELINESS, TRAUMA, and deep-rooted PAIN this past calendar year has brought as well. Gifts for me to alchemize and realign with my highest path. Necessary gifts. I am so grateful to have been able to work in a school system that depleted my physical, mental, and emotional well being. I am so grateful to have compared myself to every clinician and human being around me. I am so grateful to have been apart of trauma triggering, disrespectful, and deeply toxic relationship patterns. I am so grateful to have been alone when I moved to Seattle. To have isolated, and harbor resentment. BECAUSE - without the alchemization of this pain — without the space that these experiences
created in my energetic capacity to hold my own emotions - I may not have been able to met myself in such depth, to have expanded my energetic bowl/cup of what I am able to tolerate and experience. With this bowl of full emotions, hate, resentment, self defeating helplessness and repeating of harmful patterns —- I was able to meet myself in each of these situations with compassion. To find the child within me in each capacity and exalt her! Thank you thank you THANK YOU Source for reminding me that my inner child is my most authentic self that I get to exalt and invite authentic connection through leading with vulnerability every day!
I was able to leave what no longer brought me pleasure. To say yes to the uncertainty of both my smallest and wildest dreams. To book trips on credit, trusting in the Universe and MYSELF to take care of me❤️ and she/I did.
It started with quitting my job, investing in myself, booking solo trips, showing up for me unshakably for at least a few minutes every day, going to events alone, and ALLOWING myself to DREAM.
My question for you - what is your dream?